


(Prank) War.

by JenJo



Series: 52 Short Stories in 52 Weeks [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, If You Squint - Freeform, Prank War, Stony - Freeform, Team Bonding, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 04:23:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6104791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenJo/pseuds/JenJo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two teams enter a prank war, without entirely considering the consequences of doing so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Prank) War.

**Author's Note:**

> Week 8: a story set during a war.

“Alright team, this is our most important mission yet. If we succeed, we will have won the war. But the price of failure is too much to consider.The plan is solid, we know our enemy. When we succeed, we will go down in history as champions.”

Clint’s speech was met with silence from his team: Bucky and Natasha.

“Really Clint?” was Bucky’s response.

“Bit overboard,” was Natasha’s.

Clint sighed. “Just trying to set a mood.”

“We’ll be fine Clint. It’s a prank war; and you’re on a team consisting of people who have spent their lives as spies.” Bucky held out a fist for Natasha to bump.

“Versus a team who are allergic to the word subtlety,” Natasha added, bumping Bucky’s fist. “We’ve got this.”

 

~~~~~

 

“Tony?”

“Yes Beloved?”

Steve rolled his eyes at the endearment, taking a seat across from Tony, who was sitting at the dining table. Bruce and Sam sat further down, each eating their lunch in silence. “Is there a reason a delivery of ten extra large sized bags of dog food just got delivered?”

Tony shrugged, not looking up from his tablet. “There is.”

Steve waited for an answer, but none was forthcoming. “You going to tell me?”

“You won’t approve.”

“Try me.”

Tony put down the tablet, and gave Steve his full attention. “You, Wilson and I are engaged in a prank war with Barton, Romanoff and Barnes. The dog food is part of phase one.”

Steve blinked, before turning to look at Sam. “You agreed to this?”

Sam shook his head. “Not at first. But your team needed a third member, apparently.”

“Not involved Bruce?”

“No one asked me,” Bruce said, not looking at anyone as he took his dishes and left the room.

Sam came to sit next to Steve. 

“Why are we engaged in a prank war Tony?”

“Barton made a bet which I was confident that we could beat.”

“And you didn’t ask me because?”

“I knew you would take the opportunity to one up Barnes.”

Steve shook his head. “I’m going to regret this. What exactly have you got planned?”

The smile on Tony’s face would make lesser men fear him. “Well, Sam here came up with a wonderful plan.”

Steve turned to Sam, who had an equally terrifying smile. “You see, we wait until Clint is out…”

 

~~~~~

 

Team Brains (supplied by Tony) scored the first points of the war. 

They had waited until Clint and Natasha had been called into S.H.I.E.L.D for the afternoon. Steve was tasked with keeping Bucky occupied, by way of going to visit a new art exhibit.

[ “Why?” Bucky had asked, arms crossed over his chest.

“Because I’ve been wanting to go for the past week Buck.”

“Why don’t you go with your boyfriend?”

“Because I want to go with my best friend.”

Bucky had raised an eyebrow. “He won’t go, will he?”

Steve had sighed, and slumped his shoulders. “No, he won’t. Please Buck, for me?”

Bucky had rolled his eyes, before uncrossing his arms. “Alright Steve, just for you.” ]

With JARVIS acting as lookout, Tony and Sam had gone into Clint’s rooms, and placed the dog food in several key strategic locations (the bed, the shower, in the couch). 

They then retreated to the communal floor, where they began a Mario Kart tournament. (A plausible alibi- the pair had been known to spend hours on the game, on specially designed courses which took hours to run.)

They only had to wait an hour before Clint and Natasha returned from S.H.I.E.L.D. Sam and Tony sat there, waiting for the inevitable fallout, but nothing happened. It seemed as though Clint wasn’t bothered by the dog food.

“Maybe he hasn’t seen it yet?” Sam suggested.

Tony shook his head, but kept his eyes on the television screen. “More likely he’s choosing to ignore it. Trying to deny us the satisfaction. You’ll see at dinner. AND FIRST AGAIN!”

Sam groaned, throwing his head back on the couch. “One day I will beat you.”

“Whatever you say.”

 

~~~~~

 

“Clint.”

“Yes Bucky?”

“Why is there dog food in your shower?” Bucky asked, towel around his waist. Clint stood up, and walked towards the shower. 

(He only got distracted by Bucky for a moment.)

“Huh,” Clint took in the shower, and the dog food in. “Looks like Lucky is getting a treat when I next see him.”

“Clint,” Bucky repeated, standing next to the man. “The question is, Why?”

“Prank war,” was Clint’s answer. “But it’s hardly a prank when I can use the stuff is it?”

“Whatever you say,” Bucky leant in to press a kiss to Clint’s cheek. “Could you get rid of it?”

“And you can’t do it because?”

“I suppose I could just go back to my shower,” Bucky pondered, which caused Clint to start packing away the dog food.

“You know,” Clint said as he got rid of the last of the dog food, “this shower smells like toothpaste.”

Bucky, who had been helping Clint, paused and smelt the shower. “You’re right.” He reached for the shampoo, and unscrewed it. “Your shampoo is toothpaste.”

“Okay, they can have points for that,” Clint nodded, going over to the cupboard to check his toothpaste. “Yep, this is shampoo. Want to trade?”

 

~~~~~

  
  


It was the weekly pizza night, brought to the tower by Thor. The team assembled in the lounge, sitting in a circle around the pizza.

“Tony, I just wanted to say thank you,” Clint mumbled with a mouthful of pizza, meaning no one understood him. Bucky gave him a look, which caused Clint to roll his eyes and swallow his food. “Like I said, thank you Tony.”

Tony raised an eyebrow in question. “For what?”

“The dog food. How’d you know what brand Lucky eats?”

“Who’s Lucky?”

“My dog.”

“You have a dog?”

Clint nodded. “Yeah.”

“Where is this dog?”

“He’s living with Kate at the moment, but could always do with more food.”

“Who is Kate?”

“Not important. Must say, congrats on the prank. Going two fold? Well done.”

“Two fold?” Sam echoed.

Clint nodded. “Yeah. The dog food was obvious, but replacing my shampoo with toothpaste, and toothpaste with shampoo, as well? Well done. Points to Team Brains.”

Sam and Tony shared a confused look, before Sam shrugged. “Thanks Clint. So, is there a score board for this thing?”

JARVIS displayed a holographic scoreboard:   
BRAINS: 1

SPIES: 0.

 

~~~~~

 

“Steve, did you do the shampoo thing?” Sam asked when the three were in the kitchen, disposing of the dinner’s dishes.

Steve shook his head. “Nope.”

“So who did?” Tony asked, before shrugging. “Who cares? We have the points.”

 

~~~~~

 

Team Spies (again, coined by Tony) were quick to get their revenge. 

Steve’s phone began to only play Mozart (and not always to signal a phone call). Tony’s workshop would play anything except what he wanted (a prominent example was AC/DC being replaced by Destiny’s Child). And Sam’s phone would make bird calls every hour. (Every hour. Being awoken at three a.m by a falcon call was particularly annoying).

 

~~~~~

 

BRAINS: 1.

SPIES: 1.

 

~~~~~

 

“I’ve just got to ask Natasha,” Sam asked, when he and Natasha were alone in the kitchen. “I figure convincing JARVIS to hack into our phones was simple enough. But how did you get the coffee store to call my name as Jack?”

Natasha blinked, before smirking a little. She then left the room.

“Good chat,” Sam said to the air.

 

~~~~~

 

BRAINS: 4.

SPIES: 6.

 

~~~~~

 

“Something’s weird,” Clint said, putting down his bow..

“We’re Avengers, weird is in the job description,” Bucky put down his gun, and turnd to Clint. “Want to be more specific?”

“We’ve pulled off six pranks, according to the board.”

“Your point?”

“We’ve only done three.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, they caught the power one, the photo one, and the uniform one.”

“Huh,” Bucky thought for a moment. “That is weird.”

“Exactly!”

“Maybe we need to discuss this with the enemy.”

“Yep. JARVIS, pease convey a ceasefire, and a parley, to all members of the war.”

“Done, Agent Barton.”

 

~~~~~

 

“So if I’m hearing this right,” Sam started, “you’re admitting to not being on six points.”

“I think what they’re saying is that there is more than two teams in this war,” Steve added.

Clint pointed to Steve, and nodded. “Exactly. How many of your four were actually you?”

“All of them,” Sam and Tony said at the same time that Steve said. “One.”

Tony pouted at Steve. “Really?”

“Always tell the truth,” Steve told Tony, before turning to Clint. “So the question is, who is pranking us?”

“Exactly,” Clint said. As he opened his mouth to continue, JARVIS displayed several messages at once.

[Sir, Captain Rogers: You are required on level 67.]

[Agent Barton, Agent Barnes: You are required on level 72.]

[Agent Romanoff, Agent Wilson: You are required on level 50.]

[All are Alpha level priority.]

All six moved at once, to the elevators.

 

~~~~~

 

“There’s nothing here,” Tony looked around the room. “Besides storage. This is a storage floor. JARVIS, what is the emergency in the storage floor?”

“There is no emergency, Sir.”

“Then why did you tell us to come here with an Alpha level priority?” Steve asked.

“It appears to be an error, Captain. My apologies.”

“An error?” Tony shook his head as he made his way back to the elevator. 

“Probably means the others were mistakes as well,” Steve said, standing next to Tony and waiting for the elevator.

When the doors opened, Natasha and Sam were standing there. 

“False alarm?” Sam asked as Steve and Tony entered the elevator.

“False alarm,” Steve confirmed. The elevator began climbing again.

“Time to upgrade JARVIS?” Natasha asked Tony, who shrugged.

“I suspect that this isn’t his fault.”

The elevator came to a stop, opening to reveal Clint and Bucky.

“Why are we all on the one elevator?” Clint asked as the pair entered.

“Yeah, there’s something wrong,” Tony admitted. “JARVIS, buddy, what’s happening?”

“I am afraid to inform you sir, that I cannot say,” the A.I responded.

“Why not?” Tony asked as the elevator rose, before stopping in between floors. “Why have we stopped?”

JARVIS remained silent.

“Okay, this looks bad,” Clint said, running a hand through his hair.

 

~~~~~

 

“More tea, Doctor Banner?” Thor asked, offering Bruce a cup of tea. Bruce smiled, taking the cup as Thor sat on the couch beside him.

“Thank you Thor.”

“Do they suspect the cause of their predicament yet?” Thor gestured to the screen, which showed the Avengers trapped in the elevator.

Bruce shook his head. “Not yet. They are about to attempt to escape by climbing out.”

“I see,” Thor nodded, watching as Steve held Natasha up, allowing her to open the elevator’s roof.

“How far do they have to climb JARVIS?”

“Four floors, Doctor.”

“Hmm, that is a bit much, is it not?” Thor asked, a smile on his face. Bruce smiled back.

“Agreed. JARVIS, could you give them a lift? Safely, of course?”

“Of course, Doctor.”

Bruce and Thor watched as the elevator began climbing again. (JARVIS had waited for Natasha to return into the elevator, for her safety.)

“They are not going to be pleased,” Thor said.

Bruce nodded. “No, they won’t be. Maybe they should have included us in their prank war.”

~~~~~

 

FINAL SCORE:

BRAINS:  1.

SPIES: 3.

CHEATING CHEATERS: 4.

(Tony insists he wasn’t bitter when he named Bruce and Thor’s team. His defence was that “If you don’t openly declare your involvement, you don’t get to play.”

Tony was outvoted on that one. Everyone else congratulated Thor and Bruce on their brilliant tactics.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> See you next week.


End file.
